Couples therapy \u2014 also called couples counselling, relationship counselling<\/strong> or relationship therapy<\/strong> \u2014 is a form of psychological intervention focused primarily on the relationship between two partners rather than treating either person as the sole cause of the problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It can help couples improve communication, understand recurring conflicts, rebuild trust, explore jealousy or emotional distance, address infidelity and decide whether they want to repair the relationship or separate.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Importantly, couples therapy is not reserved for relationships that are about to end<\/strong>. The British<\/a> <\/a>Association<\/a> <\/a>for<\/a> <\/a>Counselling<\/a> <\/a>and<\/a> <\/a>Psychotherapy<\/a> notes that people seek couples or relationship counselling at different stages of relationships and for problems ranging from communication and intimacy to jealousy, trust, infidelity, family conflict, financial difficulties and major life transitions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Research also supports couple therapy as an established psychological intervention. A major review of contemporary couple therapy concluded that it has a strong empirical foundation for reducing relationship distress and improving relationship quality, with several established therapeutic approaches supported by research.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The first question, therefore, does not need to be:<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIs our relationship bad enough for therapy?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n A better question may be:<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAre we repeatedly failing to solve this by ourselves?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Couples therapy<\/strong> is psychotherapy focused on the emotional and behavioural dynamics between partners.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Instead of asking only:<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhat is wrong with you?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n or:<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhat is wrong with your partner?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n therapy also asks:<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhat happens between you?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Joaquim Chaves Sa\u00fade describes couples therapy as an intervention focused on relationship dynamics, helping partners explore communication patterns, identify sources of conflict and understand beliefs that influence their interactions. Its objectives can include greater empathy, active listening and healthier ways of responding to everyday difficulties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n This relational focus is crucial.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Imagine that one partner becomes silent whenever an argument begins.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Their partner interprets silence as rejection and becomes increasingly insistent:<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cTalk to me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhy are you ignoring me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cSay something.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Feeling pressured, the silent partner withdraws further.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Now the first partner becomes even more distressed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Who caused the problem?<\/p>\n\n\n\n That question may not be particularly useful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The cycle<\/strong> is the problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n One person’s pursuit increases the other’s withdrawal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The withdrawal increases the pursuit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Both partners are now unintentionally maintaining precisely the behaviour they dislike in the other.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Couples therapy helps make patterns like these visible.<\/p>\n\n\n\n People often wait too long before considering couples therapy<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n They imagine counselling is the final intervention before divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It does not have to be.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Couples counselling may be useful when you notice:<\/p>\n\n\n\n JCS similarly identifies frequent conflict, communication problems, loss of intimacy, infidelity, difficult decisions and life transitions as common reasons for seeking therapy. It also notes that couples therapy can help partners evaluate whether remaining together or separating is the healthier decision.<\/p>\n\n\n\n You therefore do not have to know the answer before starting therapy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Sometimes the decision itself is the work<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Many people search specifically for couples therapy for communication<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n They say:<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWe just don’t communicate.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n But couples almost always communicate.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The problem is how<\/strong> they communicate and what happens to each person when the conversation becomes emotionally important.<\/p>\n\n\n\n A partner says:<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou never want to spend time with me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n What they may mean is:<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI miss you and I’m frightened that we’re drifting apart.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n But the other person hears:<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou are a terrible partner.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n So they defend themselves:<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThat’s ridiculous. I’m working all day for this family.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Now the first person hears:<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cMy feelings do not matter.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n And the original request for closeness becomes an argument.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Couples therapy for communication<\/strong> can slow this process down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The therapist may help partners distinguish criticism from needs, accusation from vulnerability and defensive reactions from the emotions underneath them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n JCS describes communication work as a major objective of couple therapy, including active listening, clearer expression of feelings and needs, understanding the partner’s perspective and reducing reactive responses.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The BACP makes a similar point: relationship counselling can help partners identify negative interaction and communication patterns, communicate differently, express needs more clearly and create healthier boundaries.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Better communication does not mean agreeing about everything.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It means becoming capable of disagreeing without repeatedly destroying the conversation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n A recurring argument is one of the clearest reasons to consider couples therapy<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n You already know both scripts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n One says:<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou don’t care.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n The other says:<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cNothing I do is ever enough.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Then:<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou’re avoiding the point.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Then:<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhy would I talk when you speak to me like this?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Then silence.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Thirty minutes later, nobody remembers how the argument began.<\/p>\n\n\n\n These repeated sequences are important because couples can become experts at triggering each other’s vulnerabilities.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The BACP notes that present-day reactions in relationships can sometimes be influenced by earlier experiences. Feeling ignored by a partner, for example, may provoke an emotional response that seems disproportionate until the person recognises that feeling unheard has been psychologically significant for much longer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Understanding this does not mean blaming childhood for everything.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Nor does it make current hurtful behaviour acceptable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It means recognising that partners do not enter relationships as blank pages.<\/p>\n\n\n\n We bring expectations, fears, attachment experiences, previous relationships and learnt ways of protecting ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Couples therapy can help separate what belongs to the present relationship from what each partner may be bringing into it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Jealousy is not automatically pathological.<\/p>\n\n\n\n If there is genuine deception or infidelity, jealousy may be a response to something real.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But jealousy can also become a destructive relationship cycle.<\/p>\n\n\n\n One partner feels insecure.<\/p>\n\n\n\n They ask:<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWho were you talking to?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n The answer does not provide enough certainty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhy did you like that photo?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhy did you take twenty minutes to answer?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWho is going to dinner?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n The questions become checking.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The other partner becomes frustrated and starts protecting their privacy more aggressively.<\/p>\n\n\n\n That secrecy \u2014 even if innocent \u2014 increases suspicion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Now jealousy intensifies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The BACP lists jealousy<\/strong> among the relationship difficulties that commonly bring couples to counselling.<\/p>\n\n\n\n In couples therapy<\/strong>, the goal is not automatically to reassure the jealous partner that every fear is irrational.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Therapy may need to explore:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Is trust actually being violated?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Is there a history of betrayal?<\/p>\n\n\n\n What does the jealous partner fear?<\/p>\n\n\n\n What behaviour follows that fear?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Are boundaries clear?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Is reassurance becoming endless?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Is one partner controlling the other’s friendships, phone or movements?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Is the other partner behaving in ways that reasonably undermine trust?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Good relationship therapy looks at evidence and patterns rather than assigning one person the role of \u201cthe jealous one\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Emotional dependence<\/strong> can create relationships in which emotional security becomes almost entirely dependent on the partner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n A delayed reply feels unbearable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n A night out with friends feels threatening.<\/p>\n\n\n\n A disagreement feels like the beginning of abandonment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n One person may gradually require increasing amounts of reassurance:<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cDo you still love me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAre you angry?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cPromise you won’t leave.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAre we okay?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n The partner initially provides reassurance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Then more reassurance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Then begins to feel exhausted.<\/p>\n\n\n\n They may withdraw.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The dependent partner experiences precisely what they fear: distance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n So they pursue reassurance even more intensely.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Couples therapy can help examine this cycle without treating the need for attachment as a weakness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Human beings need relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The problem emerges when one partner becomes responsible for regulating almost all of the other’s emotional security.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Relationship therapy can help both partners establish a healthier balance between connection and individuality<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n That may involve clearer boundaries, increased tolerance of temporary distance, better expression of needs and, where appropriate, individual<\/a> <\/a>psychological<\/a> <\/a>work<\/a> alongside couple therapy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Some relationships alternate between extraordinary closeness and intense conflict.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Monday:<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou’re the only person who truly understands me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Wednesday:<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI never want to see you again.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Friday:<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI can’t live without you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Sunday:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Another explosive argument.<\/p>\n\n\n\n These unstable relationships<\/strong> can become emotionally exhausting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The instability may have many possible causes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Poor communication.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Fear of abandonment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Jealousy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Impulsivity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Different attachment patterns.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Previous trauma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Personality difficulties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Alcohol or substance use.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Or simply a relationship in which two incompatible people repeatedly try to force compatibility.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Couples therapy should not begin by deciding which diagnosis explains the relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Instead, the therapist can examine what happens before each escalation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n What triggers the conflict?<\/p>\n\n\n\n What does each person interpret?<\/p>\n\n\n\n How quickly do emotions intensify?<\/p>\n\n\n\n What behaviour follows?<\/p>\n\n\n\n How is the relationship repaired afterwards?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Does anything actually change before the next crisis?<\/p>\n\n\n\n The contemporary couple therapy literature emphasises understanding multi-level interpersonal sequences in which distressed partners may withdraw from one another or struggle for control rather than responding with connection and compassion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Identifying the sequence creates an opportunity to change it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Searches for \u201cnarcissistic relationships\u201d<\/strong> have become extremely common.<\/p>\n\n\n\n This requires some caution.<\/p>\n\n\n\n A partner who is selfish is not automatically a narcissist.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Someone who behaves badly during an argument does not necessarily have narcissistic<\/a> <\/a>personality<\/a> <\/a>disorder<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And one partner cannot clinically diagnose the other from social-media checklists.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But a relationship can certainly contain problematic patterns involving:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Couples therapy can sometimes help explore these patterns when both partners are capable of participating honestly and safely<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The goal is not to spend sessions deciding:<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWho is the narcissist?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n It is to ask:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Can both people recognise the other’s needs?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Can each take responsibility?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Can boundaries be respected?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Can criticism be discussed without retaliation?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Can either partner acknowledge their contribution to the problem?<\/p>\n\n\n\n If one partner’s entire objective is to prove that the other is defective, therapy has very little room to work.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The BACP is explicit that counselling cannot change a person or relationship when those involved are not willing to make the necessary effort and commitment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n One of the most useful things about couples therapy<\/strong> is that its objective does not have to be:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Stay together at all costs.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Sometimes the healthiest decision is separation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Perhaps two people have changed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Perhaps they want incompatible futures.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Perhaps trust cannot be restored.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Perhaps one partner has already decided to leave.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Couples therapy can help people examine that decision more clearly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n JCS specifically identifies evaluating the viability of the relationship as one possible goal of couple therapy and notes that therapy may help partners decide consciously whether to continue or separate.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The BACP likewise notes that counselling can support couples when separation is the safest or healthiest way forward, including helping them understand what happened and approach the end of the relationship more constructively.<\/p>\n\n\n\n This can be particularly important when children are involved.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Ending a romantic relationship does not necessarily end the need to communicate.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Sometimes the most successful outcome of couples therapy is not reconciliation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It is clarity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Couples therapy for infidelity<\/strong> deals with one of the most difficult crises a relationship can face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n After betrayal, the injured partner may become hyperalert.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Where were you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Who messaged you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n How can I believe anything you say?<\/p>\n\n\n\n The partner who had the affair may feel guilt, shame, defensiveness or frustration at answering the same questions repeatedly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Trust, once automatic, becomes something that has to be examined consciously.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Couples therapy can create a structured setting in which both partners explore what happened, what the betrayal means for each of them and whether they genuinely want to rebuild the relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n JCS identifies betrayal and loss of trust as painful relationship crises for which therapy can provide a space for honest exploration and conscious decisions about what happens next.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Research reviews also find empirical support for couple-based treatments targeting specific relationship problems including infidelity<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But couples therapy for infidelity<\/strong> does not guarantee reconciliation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n There are at least two questions:<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cCan this relationship be repaired?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n and:<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cDo we both want to repair it?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n They are not the same question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Trust after infidelity does not usually return because one person says:<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cTrust me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n The injured partner already did.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Repair often requires consistent behaviour over time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Couples therapy may help the couple explore:<\/p>\n\n\n\n What information is necessary?<\/p>\n\n\n\n What level of transparency is reasonable?<\/p>\n\n\n\n What does accountability look like?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Can the person who broke trust tolerate the injured partner’s pain without immediately becoming defensive?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Can the injured partner eventually move from investigation towards a decision about whether trust can be rebuilt?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Is the affair over?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Are both partners actually committed to the work?<\/p>\n\n\n\n There is no universal timetable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n For some couples, infidelity becomes the end of the relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n For others, it becomes a crisis from which a different relationship eventually emerges.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The purpose of couples therapy<\/strong> is not to predetermine which outcome should occur.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It is to make the decision less reactive and more conscious.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Loss of intimacy does not necessarily mean a relationship has failed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Adult life is very good at consuming relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Work.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Bills.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Phones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Family responsibilities.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Sleep deprivation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Stress.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Two people can gradually become excellent logistical partners while barely remaining romantic partners.<\/p>\n\n\n\n JCS identifies rebuilding emotional connection and intimacy as one of the common purposes of couples therapy, noting that routine and adult responsibilities can gradually affect the emotional bond.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Couples therapy may explore emotional intimacy, affection, sexuality, time together and the resentments that have accumulated between partners.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Sometimes people say:<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWe don’t have sex any more.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n But underneath there may be:<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI don’t feel appreciated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI feel rejected.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI am exhausted.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI don’t trust you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI only experience physical affection when you want sex.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Sexual distance can therefore be a symptom of a wider relational pattern.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Treating the symptom alone may miss the problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The first couples therapy<\/strong> session is not a courtroom.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The therapist is not there to decide who wins.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Normally, the psychologist begins by understanding:<\/p>\n\n\n\n How did you meet?<\/p>\n\n\n\n How has the relationship changed?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Why are you seeking help now?<\/p>\n\n\n\n What does each partner believe the main problem is?<\/p>\n\n\n\n What has already been tried?<\/p>\n\n\n\n What does each person want from therapy?<\/p>\n\n\n\n JCS describes first sessions as involving explanation of the therapeutic process, discussion of the relationship history, identification of central problems, examination of communication patterns and the establishment of shared therapeutic goals.<\/p>\n\n\n\n This can reveal something interesting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Partner A says:<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cOur problem is communication.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Partner B says:<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cOur problem is trust.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Both may be describing the same cycle from different positions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The therapist’s job is not simply to choose one version.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It is to develop a useful understanding of the relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n A good couples therapist<\/strong> does not simply become the referee in a weekly argument.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Neutrality does not mean pretending every behaviour is equally reasonable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n If one partner insults, threatens or repeatedly violates agreed boundaries, a therapist can identify that behaviour clearly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But the therapeutic alliance needs to include both people.<\/p>\n\n\n\n JCS emphasises therapist impartiality and confidentiality as important elements of a safe therapeutic environment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The BACP also stresses that working with couples requires specific training because the therapist is working simultaneously with two individuals and with the relationship between them<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The therapy room should therefore not become:<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou see? Even the psychologist agrees that you’re wrong.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n That simply reproduces the conflict in a new setting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n A better goal is to understand how each partner contributes to the system and what each can change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n There is no single model of couples therapy<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Modern couple therapy includes several established approaches.<\/p>\n\n\n\n A major review published in Family Process<\/em> identifies cognitive-behavioural couple therapy, integrative behavioural couple therapy and emotionally focused couple therapy<\/strong> among approaches with sufficient evidence to be considered well-established treatments for relationship distress.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Different approaches may emphasise different mechanisms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Some focus strongly on communication and behaviour.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Others focus on attachment and emotional connection.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Some emphasise acceptance alongside behavioural change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Others explore deeper interpersonal patterns.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But contemporary approaches share several broad aims, including reducing distress and improving relationship quality. Research also shows considerable common ground in attention to thoughts, feelings, behaviours and relationship sequences.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The relevant question is therefore not:<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhat is the one best therapy for every couple?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n It is:<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhat approach makes sense for this couple and this problem?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Yes, research indicates that couples therapy can be effective<\/strong> for relationship distress.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The 2022 review by Lebow<\/a> <\/a>and<\/a> <\/a>Snyder<\/a> concluded that systematic reviews and meta-analyses support couple therapy for improving relationship functioning. It reports that the average person receiving couple therapy finishes treatment better off than around 70\u201380% of people in untreated comparison groups.<\/p>\n\n\n\n This does not mean therapy works for every couple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Nor does it mean every improvement lasts permanently.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The same review notes that relationship problems can return over longer follow-up periods for some couples, making maintenance of gains an ongoing challenge.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Relationships continue evolving after therapy ends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Children arrive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Jobs change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Parents become ill.<\/p>\n\n\n\n People age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Financial circumstances change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The point of therapy is therefore not to engineer a conflict-free relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n No such relationship exists.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It is to develop ways of handling future problems without automatically falling back into the same destructive cycle.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Couples therapy<\/strong> is not magic.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It cannot make your partner change because you want them to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It cannot guarantee that romantic feelings will return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It cannot erase an affair.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It cannot transform incompatible life goals into compatible ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And it cannot create commitment where one person has no interest in participating.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The BACP makes this limitation explicit: relationship counselling can provide understanding, tools and guidance, but it cannot change a person or relationship if those involved are unwilling to put in the necessary effort.<\/p>\n\n\n\n JCS similarly stresses that both partners need willingness to participate, listen and remain open to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The therapist can help you see the road.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The therapist cannot walk it for you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n There is an important difference between relationship conflict<\/strong> and a relationship in which somebody is unsafe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Where there is coercive control, intimidation, serious threats, violence or fear of retaliation, ordinary conjoint couples therapy may not be appropriate or safe<\/strong> without careful specialist assessment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n This matters because ordinary couples therapy assumes that both partners have sufficient freedom to speak honestly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n If one person fears what will happen at home after disclosing something in therapy, the basic conditions for open couple work may not exist.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Similarly, severe substance problems, acute mental health crises or other individual difficulties may sometimes need separate or parallel treatment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The decision should be made clinically rather than from a generic checklist.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Couples therapy works on a relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It should never require someone to remain in an unsafe one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Online couples therapy<\/strong> provides relationship therapy through secure video sessions rather than requiring both partners and the psychologist to be in the same physical room.<\/p>\n\n\n\n For some couples this is simply more practical.<\/p>\n\n\n\n One partner travels.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The couple lives far from the clinic.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Childcare makes travelling difficult.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Work schedules leave little time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Or two partners are temporarily living in different locations.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Contemporary couple therapy research specifically identifies telehealth and digital technologies as an important development in the field, including adaptations of established couple interventions to videoconferencing and online formats.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The underlying therapeutic work remains similar.<\/p>\n\n\n\n You still examine relationship patterns.<\/p>\n\n\n\n You still communicate with one another.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The therapist still observes how those interactions unfold.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The main difference is where everyone is sitting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Online couples therapy<\/strong> can work well when both partners have a private space, reliable internet connection and enough emotional safety to discuss difficult material remotely.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It can be particularly useful when geography would otherwise make regular attendance difficult.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But convenience is not the only consideration.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Some couples prefer being physically present with the psychologist.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Others feel more comfortable speaking from home.<\/p>\n\n\n\n There is no need to turn the question into a competition between online and face-to-face therapy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The useful question is:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Which format gives this couple the best chance of attending consistently and engaging properly in the work?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Consistency matters more than owning the perfect therapy chair.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Sometimes the difficulty clearly belongs within the relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Sometimes one partner primarily needs individual psychological support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And sometimes both are appropriate.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Couples therapy<\/strong> may make sense when the central problem is:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Communication.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Trust.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Intimacy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Recurring conflict.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Jealousy within the relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Infidelity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Decision-making as a couple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Individual therapy may be more appropriate when one person’s main difficulty exists independently of the relationship \u2014 for example, a longstanding anxiety<\/a> <\/a>problem<\/a>, depression<\/a>, trauma or another individual psychological difficulty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n There can also be overlap.<\/p>\n\n\n\n A partner may have personal attachment or self-esteem<\/a> <\/a>difficulties<\/a> that contribute to emotional dependence, while the couple simultaneously needs help changing their interaction.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Assessment helps determine the appropriate format.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The answer does not always have to be either\/or.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Couple work requires specific skills.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The BACP recommends finding a therapist with experience and training specifically in working with couples, noting that couple therapy differs substantially from individual therapy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n JCS likewise recommends checking for specific couples counselling training and, in Portugal, professional registration with the Ordem dos Psic\u00f3logos Portugueses.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Useful questions include:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Does the psychologist regularly work with couples?<\/p>\n\n\n\n What therapeutic approach do they use?<\/p>\n\n\n\n How do they structure the first session?<\/p>\n\n\n\n How do they handle confidentiality?<\/p>\n\n\n\n How do they approach infidelity?<\/p>\n\n\n\n What happens if one partner wants to separate?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Do they provide online couples therapy?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Will there ever be individual sessions?<\/p>\n\n\n\n A psychologist may be excellent at individual psychotherapy without specialising in couple therapy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The relationship deserves someone trained to work with the relationship itself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n At Sua Cl\u00ednica<\/strong>, couples therapy<\/strong> can provide a structured and confidential space to understand what is happening between you rather than simply repeating the same argument at home.<\/p>\n\n\n\n You may be seeking help because of:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Communication problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Jealousy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Emotional dependence.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Loss of trust.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Infidelity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Emotional distance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Intimacy problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Unstable relationship patterns.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Recurring arguments.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Difficulties setting boundaries.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Conflict around children or family.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Or uncertainty about whether the relationship should continue.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The work begins by understanding the pattern rather than deciding in advance who is right.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Psychological support may help you identify what happens during conflict, recognise the emotions and needs underneath defensive behaviour and develop different ways of responding to one another.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Where one partner also has individual psychological difficulties, the psychologist can help identify whether separate psychological support may be useful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Sua Cl\u00ednica can also provide online couples therapy<\/strong>, allowing couples to access psychological support when attending the clinic in person is not practical.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The objective is not simply to keep two people together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It is to help them make the relationship healthier \u2014 or, when necessary, make clearer decisions about what comes next.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Couples therapy<\/strong> is a psychological intervention focused on the relationship between partners.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It can help with communication, repeated conflict, jealousy, emotional dependence, trust, intimacy, infidelity and difficult decisions about the future.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It can also reveal something many couples struggle to see while they are inside the conflict:<\/p>\n\n\n\n The enemy is often the pattern, not the partner.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n One person criticises because they want connection.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The other withdraws because criticism feels overwhelming.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The withdrawal feels like rejection.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The criticism becomes stronger.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Soon both partners are defending themselves from a threat inadvertently created by the way they are trying to protect themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Couples counselling<\/strong> and relationship counselling<\/strong> can help slow these patterns down, improve communication and create space for more deliberate responses. The BACP describes relationship counselling as a setting in which couples can explore disconnection, improve communication and develop healthier ways of relating.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The evidence also supports couples therapy as a genuine psychological treatment rather than merely mediated conversation. Contemporary reviews find substantial evidence that couple therapy can reduce relationship distress and improve relationship quality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But couples therapy does not guarantee reconciliation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Sometimes the solution is repair.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Sometimes it is greater independence within the relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Sometimes it is rebuilding trust after infidelity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Sometimes it is learning to disagree without causing damage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And sometimes it is recognising that separating is the healthier decision.<\/p>\n\n\n\n That is why the useful question is not:<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cCan the therapist save our relationship?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n It is:<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cCan we understand what is happening well enough to decide what we want to do differently?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n If communication, jealousy, emotional dependence, infidelity or recurring conflict is affecting your relationship, contact Sua Cl\u00ednica to speak to a psychologist about couples therapy, couples counselling or online couples therapy and take the first step towards understanding the pattern and deciding what comes next.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" You have the same argument for the tenth time. The subject may appear to be money, housework, jealousy, sex, children or a message that was not answered quickly enough. But after a while, you realise that the argument is almost\u2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":505,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[496],"tags":[504,498,444,508,510,506,514,500,516,502,375,512],"class_list":["post-501","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-couples-therapy","tag-communication-problems","tag-couples-counselling","tag-couples-therapy","tag-emotional-dependence","tag-infidelity","tag-jealousy","tag-online-couples-therapy","tag-relationship-counselling","tag-relationship-help","tag-relationship-therapy","tag-sua-clinica","tag-trust-issues"],"lang":"en","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.suaclinica.pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/501","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.suaclinica.pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.suaclinica.pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.suaclinica.pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.suaclinica.pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=501"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/blog.suaclinica.pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/501\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":515,"href":"https:\/\/blog.suaclinica.pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/501\/revisions\/515"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.suaclinica.pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/505"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.suaclinica.pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=501"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.suaclinica.pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=501"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.suaclinica.pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=501"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}Couples Therapy: What Is Couples Therapy?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
![\"Couple](\"https:\/\/blog.suaclinica.pt\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/08\/ChatGPT-Image-24_08_2026-20_30_48-2-1024x576.jpg\")
Couples Therapy: When Should You Consider Couples Counselling?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
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Couples Therapy: How Does Couples Therapy for Communication Work?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Couples Therapy: Why Do Couples Have the Same Arguments Again and Again?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Couples Therapy: How Can Couples Therapy Help With Jealousy?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Couples Therapy: How Can Couples Therapy Address Emotional Dependence?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Couples Therapy: How Can Couples Therapy Help With Unstable Relationships?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
![\"Couple](\"https:\/\/blog.suaclinica.pt\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/08\/ChatGPT-Image-24_08_2026-20_30_49-3-1024x576.jpg\")
Couples Therapy: Can Couples Therapy Help With Narcissistic Relationship Patterns?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
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Couples Therapy: When Is Couples Therapy Not About Saving the Relationship?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Couples Therapy: How Does Couples Therapy for Infidelity Work?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Couples Therapy: Can Trust Be Rebuilt After Infidelity?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Couples Therapy: Can Couples Therapy Restore Intimacy?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Couples Therapy: What Happens in the First Couples Therapy Session?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Couples Therapy: Does the Couples Therapist Take Sides?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Couples Therapy: What Approaches Are Used in Couples Therapy?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Couples Therapy: Does Couples Therapy Actually Work?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Couples Therapy: What Can Couples Therapy Not Do?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Couples Therapy: When Might Couples Therapy Not Be Appropriate?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Couples Therapy: What Is Online Couples Therapy?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Couples Therapy: Is Online Couples Therapy Right for You?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Couples Therapy: Should You Choose Couples Therapy or Individual Therapy?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
![\"Couple](\"https:\/\/blog.suaclinica.pt\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/08\/ChatGPT-Image-24_08_2026-20_30_49-4-1024x576.jpg\")
Couples Therapy: How Do You Choose a Couples Therapist?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Couples Therapy: How Sua Cl\u00ednica Can Help With Relationship Problems<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Couples Therapy: The Bottom Line on Couples Counselling and Relationship Therapy<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n